A List of Things I’ll Never Do Again

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I tend to be a bit of an impulsive person – maybe even a little forgetful. I’ve done my fair share of stupid things, even some downright ridiculous things. Here is a list of ten things I will never do again, and why.

  1. I’ll never mix Red Bull and vodka ever again. My heart and liver will thank me. I’m sure.
  2. I’ll NEVER join a dating site ever again. Paid. Free. They’re all the same. The four horrifying dates (for example, one grabbed my boobs over a plate of pancakes) and the two internet stalkers should explain why.
  3. I’ll never skip the sunscreen in Hawaii ever again. The five days of a miserable vacation are the reason why.
  4. On that note. I will never use self-tanner ever again. Donald Trump orange anyone? I’m too pale, I’m not fooling anyone by showing up as a bronzed goddess!
  5. I will never watch horror movies alone ever again. (But I probably will) The lack of sleep and jumping at every noise were ridiculous.
  6. I will never try to force a relationship to work ever again. If it doesn’t work – it doesn’t work. No matter how nice they may be.
  7. I will never not save my work periodically. (I probably will) Crying over lost documents is not a good look for me.
  8.  I will never think I can remember something without writing it down.  Because I will never remember. Ever.
  9. I will never ever apply Icy Hot to my entire, freshly showered body ever again. No matter how sore I am. Can you get hypothermia from a creme because…
  10. I will never pretend to ignore red flags/signs of lying because I think I’m being too critical or negative. Red flags are red flags…you need to believe your gut instincts.

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