A List of Things I’ll Never Do Again

20161216_231523

I tend to be a bit of an impulsive person – maybe even a little forgetful. I’ve done my fair share of stupid things, even some downright ridiculous things. Here is a list of ten things I will never do again, and why.

  1. I’ll never mix Red Bull and vodka ever again. My heart and liver will thank me. I’m sure.
  2. I’ll NEVER join a dating site ever again. Paid. Free. They’re all the same. The four horrifying dates (for example, one grabbed my boobs over a plate of pancakes) and the two internet stalkers should explain why.
  3. I’ll never skip the sunscreen in Hawaii ever again. The five days of a miserable vacation are the reason why.
  4. On that note. I will never use self-tanner ever again. Donald Trump orange anyone? I’m too pale, I’m not fooling anyone by showing up as a bronzed goddess!
  5. I will never watch horror movies alone ever again. (But I probably will) The lack of sleep and jumping at every noise were ridiculous.
  6. I will never try to force a relationship to work ever again. If it doesn’t work – it doesn’t work. No matter how nice they may be.
  7. I will never not save my work periodically. (I probably will) Crying over lost documents is not a good look for me.
  8.  I will never think I can remember something without writing it down.  Because I will never remember. Ever.
  9. I will never ever apply Icy Hot to my entire, freshly showered body ever again. No matter how sore I am. Can you get hypothermia from a creme because…
  10. I will never pretend to ignore red flags/signs of lying because I think I’m being too critical or negative. Red flags are red flags…you need to believe your gut instincts.

sig

One thought on “A List of Things I’ll Never Do Again

  1. StrongWithin says:

    Funny story. I was in 8th grade…and I was brushing my teeth, and I decided to use up the travel tube of toothpaste. I was like this toothpaste is really minty…I went to school and an hour later my gums were still crazy warm…and I was thinking about it and realized what I did… I brushed my teeth with Ben Gay…so I totally understand #9.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s